Monday, March 19, 2012
Didn't know you could really fall sick due to emotional reasons, I always thought it was psychological (that one isn't actually physically sick) to claim one has fallen ill after some emotional blows. But yes, I am experiencing that now, even though I could derive very logical biological reasons to it: 1. Been stressed for prolonged period, 2. Catching virus from groupmate which has remained dormant till there was a trigger 3. Crying so hard for two days the mucus was lodged in my throat and allowed the bacteria/virus to grow and emotional stress causing my immune system to let up (my own diagnosis) Felt like my face was puffed up the entire day and my nose was continuously running, not sure whether due to flu or that it couldn't stop after being constantly activated. I'm moving on, moving on. Life goes on! I am okay. Friday, March 09, 2012 I have been aware of how moody I sound in this space recently, like some emo kid but no! I'm not like that all the time! It's just that while I ruminate I am inclined to express it and yet not wanting to burden anyone with the useless thoughts, haha. Guess it's a good way to release negative energy! But yeah I don't do the same for positive energy cos I'm busy spreading the love to people around me (I hope)!!! Tonight I gave myself a night off from work, got into bed at 11plus but due to my highly adjusted body clock I'm lying in bed wide awake doing nothing and just daydreaming about random stuff. Am liking this type of feeling very much! Schoolwork has been really tough but ain't gonna start whining about it now. Will persevere, and anticipate the end! What set me in a sharing mood was a quote I read a few days ago that I constantly kept in my working memory ever since... A typical quote, nothing special, but it was strangely relevant for myself and probably anyone in a romantic relationship out there. It went something like 'If there are a million ways to prove that someone loves you, why keep finding one reason to prove that the person doesn't?' There have been times that I find myself getting upset over very small things in the relationship, thinking that I could do a better job if I were in the other party's situation, then attributing his actions to lack of love for me, and that i must love him more than he does for me. But after cooling down and settling my emotions, putting away all the righteousness and unjust, I remember all the other things that he has done, all the efforts he is putting in the relationship, his sincerity and passion into making things work, that I would feel so ashamed to accuse him that he doesn't love me enough. It is so ridiculous that I could actually overlook all other ways he's showing his love for me, and believe that he doesn't just because one small stupid thing. I always thought I was rational and clearminded but I guess I'm just as vulnerable to such whims of unreasonable emotions as any other girl. I'm not sure whether I would change but I definitely know that, emotions at that point aside, I'll never use these small things to prove that he doesn't love me. Because I may just be putting restraints in how high the relationship can soar by focusing on the wrong things. In fact, I think I may just be the luckiest girl in the world :) |
Clovergreen♥ There's more to things than you'll ever know, but I'm beginning to anticipate the unknown. Smile, because you are worth it. Tey Xiao Wei 08021991 NUS FASS Victoria Junior College CHIJ SN Aquarius Enthusiast Extreme 蘇打綠 Sodafan Designer : Chili. x o x o free web counter |